I don’t want to let go, but I have to.

I don’t really have anywhere to go and say how things really are because truth be told i’m trying to convince myself that this is okay and I know it is but I can’t get my heart to. I only run here because I know no one really reads it honestly and it’s usually just a rant on how much I really don’t like myself. Well I still don’t like myself to a point but I guess this is just a bottle up item that needs to be released somehow. Most people know when they’ve found the one, well I guess thats where i’m not included in the most people because I always seems to underestimate things. I love to hard and see the good in everyone but I can’t anymore. I can’t have strength taken from me so I can make someone else strong because I need it for myself. I’m too generous to do something like that and I love doing it but sometimes there has to be a limit. I thought everything was planned through, but when things don’t go someone else’s way is when you start to see the real deal. I wish it didn’t take this long for me to figure all of this out. I take forever to really realize things and honestly it takes me through so much pain just to figure it out. It sucks but it only makes me stronger. It sucks to know that you can’t love me the way I love you, because i gave you all of mine. Now how the hell am I supposed to love anyone else? I ponder upon this question often because I just can’t ever stand to think that there could possibly be someone else or that no one will understand me. But the truth is, you never did any of that. I didn’t see between the lines, I was the line. I thought you knew me but friends don’t destroy their friends or do what people tell them because you feel a certain way about them. A friend is a friend no matter what. I can’t take this roller coaster anymore because I have had enough rides that I am getting sick. It doesn’t quite make sense in my head because I just can’t wrap my finger around the fact that this is it. This is done. This is goodbye, not just a see ya later. Once again I have to leave for school without even a see ya later. As hard as that sounds it’s what has to be done and whether I like it or not I just have to keep strolling through. It took a chunk of me, but I can’t keep giving my whole self to someone who won’t even give me a chunk of them. I may feel useless but all I know is I don’t deserve what you did to me and I will continue to remind myself that this healthy choice is right whether I like it or not..


uglygirlsclub:

don’t date anyone who isn’t proud of you

(via laurengolden)



1. Lay on the floor of your shower until you can breathe again. Water will always love to love your skin.

2. Start writing with the intention of filling up one page. Write until your pen stops working.

3. Reread a book that once made you cry. Learn something new on every page. Notice how different chapter make you sad. Notice how the book didn’t change and grow; you did.

4. Sleep with your windows open. You can hear both the rain and boys drunkenly singing Frank Sinatra on their deck. Both are equally good.

5. Don’t forget that honey will always taste sweet, but the best way to eat it is off your fingers, laughing.

6. Remember that, sometimes, getting out of bed is enough.

 For unhappy girls who like sitting in the sun (h.f.j.)

(via implodinq)


aphrohdites:

"If it makes you less sad
we’ll start talking again.
You can tell me how vile
I already know that i am”

aphrohdites:

"If it makes you less sad
we’ll start talking again.
You can tell me how vile
I already know that i am”

(via implodinq)


It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.
Hugh Laurie   (via blackbruise)

(via jess-mclean)



oliver-carlile:

bring me the horizon snaps - sempiternal

(via trippy-hippie-420)